Most people who knew us as a couple thought highly of our togetherness. We looked like we had it all figured out. But behind closed doors during our first seven years, we either loved each other madly or fought more ferociously than cats and dogs.

Those dramatic fights usually ended with one of us shouting, “Do you want a divorce?”

Exactly twenty-four hours later, we’d sheepishly look at each other and say, “Nah, just kidding!”

It was a cycle of passion and chaos. We were youngish, stubborn, and desperately trying to figure out how to merge two wildly different lives and generations into one cohesive unit. But by our seventh year, during a particularly exhausting round of cat-wife versus dog-husband, the “divorce” word stopped feeling like a joke. We seriously talked about calling it quits.

The Brown-Eyed Coworker Who Changed Everything

Right around our breaking point, I had a conversation with a coworker who had just returned from a Marriage Encounter (ME) Weekend.

I barely recognized her. She had cried so much over the weekend that she couldn’t wear her colored contact lenses. For the first time, I realized she didn’t actually have bright blue eyes. I stared at her glasses and her natural brown eyes while she poured her heart out.

At lunch, we sat together and cried about our respective marriages. She handed me the Marriage Encounter information and the phone number of the couple who had made a massive impact on her relationship: Robin and Trudy Ririe.

Taking a leap of faith, Hubs and I packed our bags and went on the weekend retreat. We learned what we actually valued about each other. We learned how to communicate without turning our living room into a wrestling ring.

More importantly, we fell completely in love with Robin and Trudy. They saw something in us and actually talked us into becoming an encounter couple. Soon, we were co-running weekend retreats with them and a few other couples. It remains one of the most fun, enriching, and deeply healing chapters of our marriage.

The Great Migration and the Hunt for the Anti-Bickersons

Life eventually took us from Southern California to Northern California. We desperately tried to find a similar, deeply connected community in NorCal. It probably existed out there somewhere, but we kept coming up empty.

We sat down and mapped out exactly what we were looking for. We wanted a couple who had been together for a while. We wanted friends who acknowledged and understood the natural ups and downs of marriage, but who definitely weren’t the Bickersons. Lord knows we had encountered our fair share of constantly bickering, name-calling couples back down south. We wanted warmth, laughter, and reality.

Sometimes, what you spend years looking for is sitting right in your own backyard.

The entire reason we moved north was for my job. The person who originally recruited me had actually met my “Peetah” (The Hubs) while I was being interviewed in So Cal. The two of them had quickly formed a mutual admiration society. Eventually, I met her husband. He was charming, incredibly funny, and he and Peetah hit it off instantly.

Just like that, we found our Nor Cal couple.

That was 33 years ago. They even traveled up to Sacramento to visit their brother in hospice, and they continue to hold my hand and support me as we navigate the heavy, heartbreaking loss of our loved one.

When Life Gets Heavy: Caregiving Meets Entrepreneurship

This could easily be the happy ending of this story. We saved our marriage, found our tribe, and learned how to weather the storms of life. 

But the story does not end there.

Parallel to my intense journey as a caregiver was my rocky, exhilarating journey as an entrepreneur. Building a business while managing a household and taking care of ailing loved ones feels like trying to juggle flaming torches while riding a unicycle on a tightrope.

Over the years, I have worked with a few highly spiritual and socially conscious marketing coaches. Each one left a profound mark on my life, pushing me to dig deeper. They all gave me the same exact homework: identify your message, uncover your true reason why, and define your ideal client.

One day, my Australia-based coach, Johnny Englezos, asked me a simple question that stopped me in my tracks.

“Do you know how many entrepreneurs are out there trying to manage their businesses, their marriages, and caregiving for one or multiple loved ones?”

My immediate reflex was to dodge the spotlight and the question. “Yeah, but…!” I stammered, trying to brush it off.

I thought about the cats-and-dogs fights of my early marriage. I thought about the tears, the brown-eyed coworker, Robin and Trudy, and my 33-year friendship with our NorCal tribe. I thought about the crushing weight of caregiving while trying to keep a business afloat.

I have lived this. I have survived this. And I have learned how to thrive in the middle of it.

The Next Chapter: Helping YOU Balance It All

Entrepreneurs often feel like they have to put on a brave face. You are supposed to crush your financial goals, maintain a flawless romantic relationship, and care for your aging parents or sick family members without missing a beat.

It is exhausting. It can be lonely. BUT you do not have to do it by yourself.

I think I am finally ready to step up and be available to help you navigate this messy, beautiful, overwhelming intersection of life and work. I have the tools, the battle scars, and the humor to help you get through it.

But the real question is: are you ready for me?

I would love to hear your experiences. How are you currently balancing the demands of your business, your relationship, and your caregiving duties? Please let me know your thoughts, struggles, and wins in the comments section below!